but how did your ass become that way

During a workout last week with my personal trainer Megan, we gave our usual love-life update. I Mr XXX on the internet millionaire match

Me:Mr XXX and I have been emailing. I like his singing, so he recorded a song and sent it to me as an mp3.

Megan: [tilting chin toward dip bar] Cool.

Me: [starting to do dips] It's doomed. But he's so sweet! Wouldn't you like it if a guy recorded a mp3 for you? You're really into music.

Megan: Hey, I've had top hits written for my ass.

Me: What, like "Baby Got Back"?

Megan: No.

(It was only later that I realized she meant "my ass" as the gangsta way of saying "me", rather than the literal interpretation.)

Me: "Back that Ass Up"? "Rump Shaker"?

Megan: No!

Me: "Bootylicious"?

Megan: No, the song was "Silver, Blue, and Gold".

Me: [horrified]

I figured out that what I most dread about classes starting up is that I have no idea what the expectations of the professors are. Which means I have to start briefing cases again. I stopped about 1/2-way or 2/3rds of the way through the fall semester. I didn't realize until yesterday how much I abhor briefing. But you don't really wanna get caught with your pants down on the first day (or week) of class.

One of our professors hasn't even ordered books yet. Another professor told us to pick up a syllabus from the school's copy office, and be prepared to discuss Assignment 1 on the first day of class. However, the copy office claims that her assistant took the syllabus back, and told them that the professor would hand it out on the first day of class. Which does very little for my ability to read the first assignment.

I also really don't feel like being in class again. My break was very unbreaklike. I did too much driving, slept on too many couches, and didn't get nearly enough sleep.

Plans for this weekend: Read some, drink lots.

Today's Lesson Learned: never ever sit through another Civ Pro class hungover. Except for tomorrow. But after that, stop this silliness.

Today was bad for a lot of people-- we got our Contracts grades back five minutes before Civ Pro started. One friend, upon seeing his grade, slammed his laptop shut, marched out of Crim, and didn't show up for Civ Pro. I know of at least two friends who were crying during Civ Pro, one of whom had to leave the room for fifteen minutes so she could collect herself.

After class, she started crying again, so she and I went to the girls bathroom just so she could get away from the flow of people coming in and out of the Civ Pro classroom. I had to leave to go to Legal Writing, but when I found out it was cancelled, I returned to the bathroom to find that she'd locked herself in a stall, and was just balling. I asked if she wanted to get out of the law school-- just go anywhere-- so we went to Jimmy Johns for lunch*. Half a box of Kleenex later, she perked up. I know she's upset, but I think she needed to get that first cry out of her system and really collect herself.

One of the hardest things sometimes about being at the law school is that when you really could use a hole to crawl into, there's nowhere to go. There is no escape, and you don't want to show vulnerability in front of the masses (some of whom you absolutely can't stand) and their prying eyes. Unless you physically leave the building, there is nowhere to hide.

I can't wait until we all have our grades back and things quiet down again. My father says that things will get ultra-competitive, now that everybody has an idea of where they stand. People will want to keep their rank, others will want to claw their way up. I guess we'll see. I just hate seeing the people I care about so devastated... Let's skip ahead to February, when everybody will have all their grades, and hopefully things will chill a little bit.

--
* Bootlegger club, so good.

i heart u, 98 degrees!!
Good Valentine's Day. I don't understand why it's supposed to be so depressing for single people (See e.g., Women Not Girls Rule My World).

I had a psych professor a few years ago who gave us a list of things that he thought made people happier. One of them was, "Understand the difference between being alone and being lonely. They are not the same thing. Learn to enjoy being by yourself." It sounds like brusque, depressing advice, but really what he meant was-- learn to enjoy yourself. Enjoy your own company.

Which is why I never minded living alone, and I don't mind being single (my feelings for The Boy notwithstanding). I enjoy my own company and for me, being alone is not the same thing as being lonely. Whenever I think about this, it reminds me of a quote I kept from a short story published in Wired years and years ago: "An overcrowded world is the ideal place in which to be lonely." (Brian Adliss, Super-Toys Last All Summer Long, the story on which AI was based) You can be surrounded by millions of people, and although you are not alone, you can definitely be lonely.

I write this now not as affirmation for me, but just because I'm tired of hearing about how we singles are supposed to freak out and be depressed or anxious on Valentine's Day. It's like being peer-pressured into being miserable.

I had a great time last night-- had a few friends over, ordered pizza, drank beer, and watched The Big Lebowski. The funny thing is, last year, I had a boyfriend on Valentine's Day, and I honestly can't remember what we did. I was really trying to remember yesterday, and for the life of me, I couldn't. I just kept drawing a blank. Obviously, a tremendously special day, right?

I got Valentine's Day cards to drop in all of my friends' mailboxes. I had to ask at the grocery store where they were. At first, the guy said, "Oh, they're over by the flowers."

"The ones little kids give to each other?" I asked.

"Oh. Oh." He mustered up his best sympathetic look and said, "All we have left are a few boxes of 98 Degrees cards."

I think he was surprised when I grinned and said, "That's perfect. Where are they?"

These are maybe the most ridiculous cards I've ever seen in my life. Which makes them fantastic for giving to other people. I laugh just looking at them. D & I were joking about wallpapering his room with the leftovers, cuz, you know, 98 Degrees is HOT.